When I Finally Found Love

Have you ever wondered how life follows the rule of two? two eyes, two arms, two legs, night and day , laughter and sadness, Conscious and subconscious,  soul and  body, men and women… A creation that’s always the result of “two”.

A creation of something or someone, a creation of feelings and thoughts, a creation of infinite love. I’ve always been thirsty for love, looking for it everywhere, waiting for it to pull me out of my sadness and sorrow. I started giving everyone what I needed the most: Support and care, it fulfilled my needs for a period of time and left me empty.

The support I was giving never returned to me because it was based on my own needs. I saw people growing and reaching their goals while I was still standing there without any personal progress, I was trying to fulfill my dreams through others.

Then I wondered if there’s a parallel universe, what would I be doing right now? I thought of the years passing by so quickly. Soon, one year will be added to my life, one year will bring me closer to death and another life perhaps. I hoped that I would be chasing my dream in that so-called “parallel universe”, I HOPE!

*A hope: A feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.*

A hope, a desire, a want, a wish that must be given in some mystical way, and magic was always there, resting peacefully inside of me, afraid to be heard, afraid to be known. The magic of love and self-care, the moment I found it, miracles started to happen. I started seeing it everywhere, the strength and confidence, the wisdom, the intelligence and great will, I found love inside myself. Caring for myself was the best thing I did. I stopped blaming myself for the past, I understood that everything that had happened, was for my own benefit.

Today as I found love inside of me I know that what I felt before and mistook for love was nothing but weakness and lack of self-esteem. I’m very grateful that I never had what I thought I deserve, because now and after I learnt how to love myself I feel ready to love and be loved for no other reason than love itself. Now that I’ve learnt how to love myself, I can easily enjoy the rule of two. Because if I hadn’t cried I wouldn’t have known the value of a smile and if I hadn’t feared I wouldn’t have reached the land of courage. Always remember that after one negative situation, there’s a positive one.

 

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